A PLACE TO EXPLORE IDEAS
AND HAVE CONVERSATIONS
Step 1: Nutrition (Natural Treatment Protocols for 7 Hormonal Conditions)
Step 2: Self Acupressure & Yoga (4 Instructional Videos to Thicken the Uterine Lining)
Step 3: Mindfulness Meditation (2 Audio Meditations to Reduce Stress and Depression)
Time Travel, Resistance and the Here and Now
Many responded to this question with resistance.
I was touched by their incredible awareness.
To understand why we resist this question, I want to talk about the third of the seven core features of the doing mind – mental time travel.
Our ability to travel to different places and times in our minds, when used consciously and knowingly, allows us to prepare for the future and learn from the past.
But when the thinking mind takes us away from the HERE and NOW, without our knowledge or consent, a few things happen:
a. rumination about the past drags us back into depression or anger.
b. worry about the future tips us into anxiety.
c. anticipating everything we “have to do” makes us feel burdened, exhausted and stressed out.
In mental time travel we actually feel like we are in the future or in the past.
This disconnects us from experiencing life in the present moment. The present moment is the only place healing takes place.
When we are not present, we can easily wind up re-experiencing the pain of past losses. When we are not present, we often experience fear and anxiety over an imagined reality that hasn’t even happened yet.
In the Mindful Fertility process, we learn that whatever we are doing, we can choose to disengage from mental time travel.
Making this choice is essential for our health.
With practice, we can learn how to gather and settle our minds in the here and now. We then experience the calm and peace that awaits us beneath the turmoil of the thinking mind.
What is important to remember is that we are not trying to get rid of our thoughts (impossible).
The goal is to recognize “thinking” when it is happening and, as best we can, focus our attention on awareness itself.
Interested? Want to deepen your understanding? Try this for a minute.
1. Immediately after reading these instructions, look at the time and make note of it.
2. Sit without doing anything for a minute. Eyes closed.
3. At the end of a minute, finish reading this email.
Where was your mind in that minute? Was it experiencing life in the present moment?
Or, did your mind take you far away from this time and place?
Perhaps it took you forward to the future, to events coming up in a few minutes, hours, weeks or years.
Or maybe it took you back to the past – to events that happened last night, last week or years ago?
Were you aware of where your mind was taking you?
When we give up the hope of love coming in the future, we are choosing to come into contact with the present.
Often, when we feel into HERE and NOW, we feel a lot of emotional pain; unmet longing, sorrow, disappointment, fear.
By intentionally moving our awareness gently and gradually toward the pain of the present we begin to undo the deeply rooted habit of avoiding pain. Avoiding pain is called resistance. Resistance is the energy that blocks the flow of life.
We habitually add EXTRA pain to the painful present with mental time travel.
It is really healing to begin to become more and more aware of the painful present from the calm and peace that awaits us beneath the turmoil of the thinking mind.
This integration of consciousness is critically important for our brain and our body to function optimally.
The first step toward claiming our power and our life is to remind ourselves that we’re not our past or our imagined future.
If you need help taking back your power from mental time travel, sign up for my office hours (the 15 minute spots are FREE). I’d love to hear from you and connect personally.
Let’s make 2017 the year you learn to DROP your resistance to PAIN so you can open, more fully, to life.
FERTILE things happen when you do.
I look forward to speaking with you,
PS – My wish for you is that you feel SUPPORTED and LOVED as you face the pain of the present on the brave path of healing.
My work is dedicated to providing you with the precise tools and resources to do just that. Fertility challenges contain some of our deepest pain as women, and thus offer us the most potent liberation as we heal them.
So go ahead and sign up here for my office hours (the 15 minute spots are FREE) and we will discuss some incredible ways you can optimize your mind and body for conception and birth.
I hope you’ll join us this year.
On your journey to conceive you have no doubt become aware of at least one or two waves of despair rising and falling within you. At times you feel down, hopeless, uninspired and unable to find any meaning.
Of course, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your desire for a child. It’s so human, to have some yearning in the heart, some longing for connection, to be met in presence, to be seen, to be heard, to be touched, to be held and to hold.
Let’s talk about the brain again. We know from the findings in neuroscience that the mental and emotional changes we can create through mindfulness are transformational at the very physical level of the brain. By developing the ability to focus our attention on our internal experience in the Mindful Fertility meditations, we are picking up a scalpel we can use to re-sculpt our neural pathways, stimulating growth of areas of the brain that are crucial to mental health and fertility.
When I began my work with Dr. Smikle, Reproductive Endocrinologist and Medical Director at Laurel Fertility Care, in SF, California, I felt the impulse to try to find the culprit, to try to fix “infertility” for men and women trying to conceive.
In 1978, the year the first IVF baby was born, subjective experience was considered irrelevant in medicine. Now we know that what we do with our mind changes the health of our body; more specifically, the action and structure of our brain. And it is our brain that governs the complex task of reproduction.
I follow a lot of fertility blogs. One of the most consistent themes I notice is a discussion about “mindset.” Which inevitably boils down to, “SHIFT your mindset and miracles happen.” Think positive, in other words. Have you tried thinking positive while trying to conceive? It is like a Chinese finger trap. Our immediate, automatic reaction to any unpleasant experience is to set up a goal – to avoid the experience, to push it away, to get rid of it, or to fix it. This includes positive thinking. This reaction is called aversion. Aversion underlies all the thinking patterns that get us stuck in unwanted emotions while trying to conceive.