A PLACE TO EXPLORE IDEAS
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Step 1: Nutrition (Natural Treatment Protocols for 7 Hormonal Conditions)
Step 2: Self Acupressure & Yoga (4 Instructional Videos to Thicken the Uterine Lining)
Step 3: Mindfulness Meditation (2 Audio Meditations to Reduce Stress and Depression)
Thinking vs Mindfulness
I follow a lot of fertility blogs. One of the most consistent themes I notice is a discussion about “mindset.”
Which inevitably boils down to, “SHIFT your mindset and miracles happen.”
Think positive, in other words.
Have you tried thinking positive while trying to conceive? It is like a Chinese finger trap.
Our immediate, automatic reaction to any unpleasant experience is to set up a goal – to avoid the experience, to push it away, to get rid of it, or to fix it. This includes positive thinking. This reaction is called aversion. Aversion underlies all the thinking patterns that get us stuck in unwanted emotions while trying to conceive.
There are two fundamentally different kinds of mental processes:
1. Thinking. Deliberative thinking occurs when you are consciously and intentionally thinking about something. With deliberative thinking you experience yourself as doing your thinking. Your thinking is always an interpretation of reality. Ways of thinking or interpreting reality are taught to you. They are conditioned. Some thoughts are conscious, others are not.
Example of a conscious thought, “I am running out of time.” or (deliberative thinking with a positive spin), “Miracles happen when you are truly ready to receive them.”
Think about your uterus or any reproductive organ for a moment. Write down everything that comes into your mind. No editing. There are no right or wrong thoughts to have. Don’t take your pen off the paper. There is no judgment. You don’t have to think a certain way. Write whatever comes to mind. 1 minute – go.
Write down all your thoughts about your uterus or reproductive organs.
What did you experience?
2. Mindfulness. When you take away all of your conditioned ways of thinking (all the ways you have been taught to think) – there is simply a field of awareness. We all have the same awareness. Every thought happens within awareness, every feeling happens within awareness, every sensation happens within awareness. The basic quality of awareness is at peace. Because it is not conditioned, it does not have to come to peace or get to peace. It is always at peace. How conscious we are of awareness varies greatly. Being conscious of awareness is mindfulness.
Become aware of your uterus or reproductive organs. Directly perceive your uterus. Not an image of your uterus, that is thinking. You are not thinking about your uterus. But instead perceive your uterus directly. Bring your awareness into your uterus. Use your breath to guide your awareness into your uterus. What are the sensations you feel in this area of your body? No interpretation, simply direct perception. Do this for 1 minute.
What did you experience?
Awareness is not commenting on anything or labeling anything. Only thinking does this.
When you begin the Mindful Fertility process you begin to perceive your body directly and you begin to ask yourself this question,
”Can I be aware without an opinion, without a description, without a diagnosis, without an image, without any story?”
And you keep returning to awareness.
When you allow yourself to have a time EACH DAY when you just dwell in that inner resource of the “only-ness” of awareness, that awareness is only aware. Then you feel less and less caught in your mental and emotional conditioning.
So, for example, if you have a fearful feeling arise, just bring the peaceful quality of “awareness only” to it. Let fear simply arise. Don’t create a position with it. Don’t create a positive story or a negative story. Be just and only aware of fear.
Awareness is an extraordinarily intelligent force. It’s not like the intellectual intelligence of your mind. It’s completely integrated into every cell of your body, every cell of your reproductive system and it is at peace.
Acknowledging ‘awareness only’ happening within you and within your reproductive system is the break in the chain of your conditioning. The break in the chain between stimulus and response, between the pendulum of positive and negative thinking.
It is thinking that turns difficult pain into despair.
Awareness is always and only being aware. And awareness is at peace.
Begin to shift your attention focus away from deliberate thinking and rest in the peaceful spaciousness of awareness only while trying to conceive.
Because it is the actuality of things that gives birth to the potentiality.
Did I peak your curiosity? Here is an exercise to deepen your understanding.
Listen to this mindfulness meditation by clicking on the image below.
After the meditation reflect on these questions.
The practice of ‘being only aware’ involves becoming more aware of your thoughts, feelings and sensations AT THE TIME you are thinking, feeling and sensing them, without adding more thoughts or judging or comments.
1. What is the experience of ‘being only aware’ of your thoughts?
2. What is the experience of ‘being only aware’ of your feelings?
3. What is the experience of ‘being only aware’ of your sensations?
4. If the experience of ‘being only aware’ were a color, what would it be?
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All my very best, always,
On your journey to conceive you have no doubt become aware of at least one or two waves of despair rising and falling within you. At times you feel down, hopeless, uninspired and unable to find any meaning.
Of course, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your desire for a child. It’s so human, to have some yearning in the heart, some longing for connection, to be met in presence, to be seen, to be heard, to be touched, to be held and to hold.
Let’s talk about the brain again. We know from the findings in neuroscience that the mental and emotional changes we can create through mindfulness are transformational at the very physical level of the brain. By developing the ability to focus our attention on our internal experience in the Mindful Fertility meditations, we are picking up a scalpel we can use to re-sculpt our neural pathways, stimulating growth of areas of the brain that are crucial to mental health and fertility.
When I began my work with Dr. Smikle, Reproductive Endocrinologist and Medical Director at Laurel Fertility Care, in SF, California, I felt the impulse to try to find the culprit, to try to fix “infertility” for men and women trying to conceive.
In 1978, the year the first IVF baby was born, subjective experience was considered irrelevant in medicine. Now we know that what we do with our mind changes the health of our body; more specifically, the action and structure of our brain. And it is our brain that governs the complex task of reproduction.
Just before the New Year, I asked my subscriber’s this question, “What would you have to feel if you gave up the hope of love coming in the future this New Year?” Many responded to this question with resistance. I was touched by their incredible awareness.