A PLACE TO EXPLORE IDEAS
AND HAVE CONVERSATIONS
Step 1: Nutrition (Natural Treatment Protocols for 7 Hormonal Conditions)
Step 2: Self Acupressure & Yoga (4 Instructional Videos to Thicken the Uterine Lining)
Step 3: Mindfulness Meditation (2 Audio Meditations to Reduce Stress and Depression)
The ONLY thing better than getting what you want…
This holiday season, the kindest thing I can offer you is to sit in the certain VITALITY of the pain with you, removing the burden that you feel better, heal or buy my stuff in order for your dreams to come true.
I could try and sell you that immediate action is called for and that you must urgently shift your depression to joy, your sadness to bliss, or your hopelessness to hope so in 2016 you will be one of the “lucky ones.”
But you’ve already been sold that and in doing so, I would invalidate the aliveness and the intelligent unfolding of your experience, exactly as it is.
You see from my perspective, it requires a profound degree of courage and trust to no longer pathologize the activity of your body’s world, and to really see that “infertility” is not evidence that something is wrong in your body which must be corrected or ‘cured’ by psychological or medical process.
Instead, on the shortest day of the year I am writing to remind you that you are not broken.
Your experience is VALID, and you do not need to ‘get over it,’ ‘relax,’ focus only on the ‘positive,’ or experience something different than you are.
Loss, sadness, shame, grief, and rage are ancient travelers on an old journey.
Loneliness, disappointment, confusion, and fear are secret messengers of the dark AND of the light sent from inside you to remind you NOW of a fertility that you have been systematically taught to deny.
But loss has not given up.
It will continue to erupt out of your fertile body as an emissary of integration, unfolding greater levels of cohesion and drawing you to wholeness.
It’s invitation is simultaneously wild, loving, and outrageously fierce: “dare to see that you have always, already been whole,” loss says.
Surrender the spell of unworthiness and the dream of a love coming in the future this holiday season.
Love is only now. Here in the darkness.
There’s only one thing that’s better than getting what you want this holiday: it’s to know that you are at peace whether you get it or not.
All my very best, always,
On your journey to conceive you have no doubt become aware of at least one or two waves of despair rising and falling within you. At times you feel down, hopeless, uninspired and unable to find any meaning.
Of course, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your desire for a child. It’s so human, to have some yearning in the heart, some longing for connection, to be met in presence, to be seen, to be heard, to be touched, to be held and to hold.
Let’s talk about the brain again. We know from the findings in neuroscience that the mental and emotional changes we can create through mindfulness are transformational at the very physical level of the brain. By developing the ability to focus our attention on our internal experience in the Mindful Fertility meditations, we are picking up a scalpel we can use to re-sculpt our neural pathways, stimulating growth of areas of the brain that are crucial to mental health and fertility.
When I began my work with Dr. Smikle, Reproductive Endocrinologist and Medical Director at Laurel Fertility Care, in SF, California, I felt the impulse to try to find the culprit, to try to fix “infertility” for men and women trying to conceive.
In 1978, the year the first IVF baby was born, subjective experience was considered irrelevant in medicine. Now we know that what we do with our mind changes the health of our body; more specifically, the action and structure of our brain. And it is our brain that governs the complex task of reproduction.
Just before the New Year, I asked my subscriber’s this question, “What would you have to feel if you gave up the hope of love coming in the future this New Year?” Many responded to this question with resistance. I was touched by their incredible awareness.