A PLACE TO EXPLORE IDEAS
AND HAVE CONVERSATIONS
Step 1: Nutrition (Natural Treatment Protocols for 7 Hormonal Conditions)
Step 2: Self Acupressure & Yoga (4 Instructional Videos to Thicken the Uterine Lining)
Step 3: Mindfulness Meditation (2 Audio Meditations to Reduce Stress and Depression)
Self Doubt vs I’m Not Sure How This Will Turn Out
One of the very first psychological processes that gets triggered while trying to conceive is self-doubt.
In the first missed month of trying to conceive most women report becoming concerned.
Growing concern quickly turns into burgeoning self-doubt within three months of trying.
At six months, deep concern has begun to take root and often times self-doubt becomes debilitating.
As delays persist, thoughts about time, success, belonging and life’s purpose intersect with this gnawing self-doubt causing significant stress and uncertainty.
For my clients, this negatively impacts their sense of self worth and their identity. Which ultimately affects their physical and emotional well-being.
So the question becomes, how do you let the truth about situational doubt (I’m not sure how this will turn out) flow through you while trying to conceive without allowing it to undermine your beliefs about your self?
The answer is a multi-layered process.
First, you must bring to consciousness the automatic thoughts, cultural norms and societal demands that are pushing you to believe that “it” must happen now and that “it” means you are successful as a woman.
Second, you must eat well, detoxify your environment and let LIFE surprise you while you express yourself in ways that are joyful, passionate and whole.
Make love, see what happens.
Focus on awareness itself, see what happens.
Eat great food, see what happens.
Do what you love, see what happens.
Get out of auto-pilot, see what happens.
Get a physician’s opinion, see what happens.
Stop believing your thoughts, see what happens.
Stop believing other people’s thoughts, see what happens.
Love yourself as you are, see what happens.
Do stuff that makes you feel alive, see what happens.
Express your feelings, see what happens.
Do an IVF cycle, see what happens.
Go to therapy, see what happens.
Grieve that life is uncertain, see what happens.
Keep on living, see what happens.
Make space for the unknown, see what happens.
Creating is part of you.
Clear out the beliefs you’ve been taught that manufacture shame, fear, powerlessness and self doubt.
Be unapologetic about your fertility. It isn’t linear.
Embodying your wholeness and your passion is your fastest path to success.
You keep experimenting, and stop worrying about the HOW! (Because you can’t know how it will turn out)!
Focus on BEING the WHO that is able to receive LIFE in all of its uncertainty.
Fertile things happen when you do
All my very best, always,
Your fertility story is the very foundation of the Mindful Fertility process. Even if you’ve done tons of therapy, as you pursue your longing for a child, as your vulnerability increases, as you heal, change your behavior, change your state of consciousness, at every new level of growth and expansion, it’s your fertility story that determines your “success” because the image of a successful cycle is held in your implicit memory – deep in your sub-conscious mind.
Most women and couples who earnestly begin to practice mind-body medicine, have found that analytical thinking and rational problem solving based on implicit dominant cultural ideas about the body; paradigms that use Newtonian physics to think about matter, paradigms informed by patriarchy, haven’t helped them solve the riddle of their symptoms.
On your journey to conceive you have no doubt become aware of at least one or two waves of despair rising and falling within you. At times you feel down, hopeless, uninspired and unable to find any meaning.
Of course, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your desire for a child. It’s so human, to have some yearning in the heart, some longing for connection, to be met in presence, to be seen, to be heard, to be touched, to be held and to hold.
Let’s talk about the brain again. We know from the findings in neuroscience that the mental and emotional changes we can create through mindfulness are transformational at the very physical level of the brain. By developing the ability to focus our attention on our internal experience in the Mindful Fertility meditations, we are picking up a scalpel we can use to re-sculpt our neural pathways, stimulating growth of areas of the brain that are crucial to mental health and fertility.
When I began my work with Dr. Smikle, Reproductive Endocrinologist and Medical Director at Laurel Fertility Care, in SF, California, I felt the impulse to try to find the culprit, to try to fix “infertility” for men and women trying to conceive.