Step 1: Nutrition (Natural Treatment Protocols for 7 Hormonal Conditions)
Step 2: Self Acupressure & Yoga (4 Instructional Videos to Thicken the Uterine Lining)
Step 3: Mindfulness Meditation (2 Audio Meditations to Reduce Stress and Depression)
A PLACE TO EXPLORE IDEAS
AND HAVE CONVERSATIONS
When we exit the ALIVENESS of our vulnerability.
While the specific ways we practice hostility toward our bodies while trying to conceive are many, they generally fall into two categories, matching to our early attachment patterns.
1. We come to fertility challenges specializing in avoiding, denying, suppressing, and repressing our vulnerabilities – by engaging in numbing activities or by weaving narratives of blame and victimhood, and how something is wrong with us.
2. We come to fertility challenges urgently and frenetically seeking relief from our vulnerability through a very anxious engagement with others and the world; mainly the medical system.
Many of the women in my practice know what it’s like to engage in behavior designed to get us out of very vulnerable states of being, but through the Mindful Fertility process many also discover that the quickest and most reliable way to get relief from their vulnerability is to start THINKING.
In a fraction of a second, we can dissociate from the pain of not being pregnant and spin the most seductive tale about what has happened, about how fair or unfair it is, about why we are “infertile,” about who is to blame, about what it all means, and about how something is wrong with us.
Before we know it, we have lost contact with the precious reality of our tender, raw, vulnerable bodies – and have begun to start thinking ‘about’ our experience rather than actually ‘having’ it.
We think that by thinking we are creating opportunities for healing, but abandoning our body is never healthy.
If we will practice being mindful, get very curious, and cultivate the desire to know what is happening in our ovaries, in our uterus, in our reproductive system, we may start to discover that labeling ourselves as “infertile” and exiting the aliveness of intense states of vulnerability may be seen as the ultimate act of self-aggression.
Self-aggression is not bad or wrong or evidence of our failure – it is simply out-of-date and inefficient.
It was the best way we learned to care for ourselves as young children – to weave stories in the attempt to make meaning when our needs were not being met.
The Mindful Fertility Project helps you reverse this cycle of turning away from yourself and offer yourself the gift of self-kindness instead.
The meditations will help you stay close to your embodied vulnerability at this time.
The practices will help you turn toward yourself, your body, life and God and end the unkind activity of abandonment in all its forms.
We do not need our narratives of “infertility,” shame, and blame to protect us any longer from our own hearts.
We can take the risk required to love ourselves so deeply that we will do anything to stay, to not abandon ourselves any longer, and to no longer blame others, ourselves, our bodies and the world for our experience, for our feelings of loneliness, grief, abandonment and fear.
It is the ultimate act of self-kindness to stay close to your embodied vulnerability, to withdraw the projections of an unhealthy body, cruel world and ‘bad me,’ and to recognize the majesty of what you are.
It is a simple path, in many ways, but not an easy one.
It is the path of love and it is what you are trying to conceive.
(Adapted from Matt Licatta).
Of course, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your desire for a child. It’s so human, to have some yearning in the heart, some longing for connection, to be met in presence, to be seen, to be heard, to be touched, to be held and to hold.
Let’s talk about the brain again. We know from the findings in neuroscience that the mental and emotional changes we can create through mindfulness are transformational at the very physical level of the brain. By developing the ability to focus our attention on our internal experience in the Mindful Fertility meditations, we are picking up a scalpel we can use to re-sculpt our neural pathways, stimulating growth of areas of the brain that are crucial to mental health and fertility.
When I began my work with Dr. Smikle, Reproductive Endocrinologist and Medical Director at Laurel Fertility Care, in SF, California, I felt the impulse to try to find the culprit, to try to fix “infertility” for men and women trying to conceive.
In 1978, the year the first IVF baby was born, subjective experience was considered irrelevant in medicine. Now we know that what we do with our mind changes the health of our body; more specifically, the action and structure of our brain. And it is our brain that governs the complex task of reproduction.
Just before the New Year, I asked my subscriber’s this question, “What would you have to feel if you gave up the hope of love coming in the future this New Year?” Many responded to this question with resistance. I was touched by their incredible awareness.
I follow a lot of fertility blogs. One of the most consistent themes I notice is a discussion about “mindset.” Which inevitably boils down to, “SHIFT your mindset and miracles happen.” Think positive, in other words. Have you tried thinking positive while trying to conceive? It is like a Chinese finger trap. Our immediate, automatic reaction to any unpleasant experience is to set up a goal – to avoid the experience, to push it away, to get rid of it, or to fix it. This includes positive thinking. This reaction is called aversion. Aversion underlies all the thinking patterns that get us stuck in unwanted emotions while trying to conceive.